To a Beautiful Woman I Didn't Know....

I knew you through a good close friend, we had a few things in common; we were both young wives and mothers to small girls, we both surrounded ourselves with good friends and we both were Breast Cancer warriors.

I often inquired about how you were doing, you had a Breast Cancer diagnosis after I had mine. You had a very rough battle with this horrible disease all while taking care of a small child. So I asked about you yesterday, only to be shocked to find out that you were gone and you have been gone for a few weeks now, maybe a month; I don't know, nobody told me.

So I write today to remember you, a woman I prayed for, yet I never knew. But to also let good intentioned friends know that it is okay to tell a Breast Cancer survivor that there are people who don't survive the disease. We all know the ugly truth of the disease. Mine was caught very early, but you can sure as heck know that I am aware of my mortality statistics...

In keeping the death of a dear woman and fellow warrior away from those who have survived, we essentially deny this fallen soldier the credit she deserves for battling with such grace, dignity and strength.

Though it may pain you to know that Breast Cancer survivors will shed tears when another person dies of Breast Cancer, it is not out of self-pity or fear of our own demise. The tears are for the loss of a life too soon and all that could have been had a cure been found for this terrible disease just one day earlier.


Rest in peace, Lynn. We will keep fighting!

Fearless Defined??? Cancer Plus a Whole Lot More

This photo was taken in NYC on a Boat Cruise that I took with my daughters who helped raise over $5,000 last year for the Making Strides Against Breast Cancer Walk in Albany's Washington Park. Upon raising $2,500 or more you become part of an elite group of fundraisers for the American Cancer Society...A Pacesetter....I am also a daughter, a mother, a sister, an aunt, a business professional, a philathropist, a friend and someone who struggles every day to stay defined as such, and not just as a cancer patient.

As an almost 3 year survivor of breast cancer, every morning I think about all that has been gained and lost since my diagnosis. I have a BC life and an AC life. While I wouldn't trade the life experiences for anything, I always wonder about what my perspective would have been like with no cancer diagnosis.

Would it be easier to wake up every day, or has the knowledge that life is fragile and short made me appreciate all that I have? It is clear that this realization has led me to change the things in my life that are not working (sometimes in unproductive ways). Yet it is unclear whether those changes would have happened without cancer. I am not sure and perhaps it doesn't even matter.

The greatest concern is that all that I have strived for over the course of my life will get lost and I will be redefined as that woman who had cancer...and nothing more. I am proud to be a survivor, but when all is said and done and I take my last breath, I hope my friends and family see me as so much more than that....

Cancer may have shaped my life, but it will never define my life.

Be Well.

Red Lipstick Rules...Cancer Can't Take That From Me! (A Dedication to Bev)

To say that Breast Cancer is just a disease would be letting the beast off easy. "A disease is an abnormal condition of an organism that impairs bodily functions and can be deadly. It is also defined as a way of the body harming itself in an abnormal way, associated with specific symptoms and signs."(Wikipedia) This is an understatement when you receive a breast cancer diagnosis.

The illness hits its warriors more than once...first with the discovery of the cancer, and second with realization that you may lose all that makes you feel like a woman. First, it may be your hair and eyebrows due to chemotherapy, and then for some, surgery, to either remove your breasts and/or your ovaries. In essence doctors cure the disease by eliminating the presence of estrogen in one's body and cutting (no pun intended) to the core of the things that we women use to define our sexuality and self.

While, I personally was not dealt all of these blows, I have friends who have faced each and every one of them. Beautiful, brave women who have fought and suffered. No matter how may blows we endured, we all stood strong as our health and mortality were challenged along with our womanhood; the disease still has the ability to harm us in more than a physical way.

In my case, I think about my body in a whole different way since my view of the world from my stretcher and hospital bed. Initially, I had anger that my body, which I felt I took such good care of, failed me in the worst way. I also wondered what was going through the mind of my young Oncologist whose wife was just a couple of years younger than me.

Almost 3 years later, I am thankful for a good run outside or a killer spinning class that pushes my body to its limits and leaves me a sweaty mess. But what I am most grateful for is that same red lipstick that I wore before, during and after breast cancer treatment is still worn proudly to symbolize all the disease tried to take from me, but ultimately could not.