I remind myself constantly that the friend I strive to be is courageous and compassionate when someone I know has to face terrifying news like hearing the words "I'm sorry, but your biopsy is not good. You have breast cancer." When I was diagnosed, I felt like a caged rat. The day I was diagnosed, I wouldn't answer my telephone because I didn't think I could hold it together. I put my kids in their stroller and I just walked and walked. I didn't know what to do, and I couldn't rest until I had a handle on exactly what I was about to face.
I had some friends who were absolute angels and for them I am most grateful. Friends who cried with me, friends who made me dinner, friends who told me they were in awe of my strength in the face of adversity when I thought I was falling apart, friends who took care of my children when I was at the hospital. These people lifted me up and helped me along when I didn't think I could handle any more bad news or pain.
Then there were others, who upon hearing I was diagnosed with breast cancer asked "are you going to get a mastectomy" before they even asked me if I was okay. Friends who passed judgement on decisions I made having never been through a cancer diagnosis themselves. Even worse, good good friends who would not call me once they knew I had the BIG C...like they would catch it over the phone LOL!
Cancer made me a fearless friend. I am not afraid of what I will hear if my friend has troubling news, I am not afraid to go to their biopsy, I am not afraid to sit with them while they have chemotherapy, I am not afraid to go shopping for wigs, I am not afraid to give comfort to her kids when they cry for their mommy, I am not afraid to attempt to cook them dinner (for those of you who know me, this is a BIG, really BIG deal) and above all....I am not afraid to be with my friends when they need me the most, even if it is just to sit there and say nothing when there is nothing more that can be said.
What I am afraid of though is failing to be the kind of friend that is truly needed when times are rough. I was so blessed with friends who just knew how to be there and not worry about overstepping their boundaries. I am also afraid that if I don't have the courage to step up to the plate to take care of my friends that no one else will either...especially after what I have been though which pales in comparison to other breast cancer warriors.
To suffer alone is probably the worse thing that could happen to one of my friends and for that, my heart is wide open and I have no fear about being a true friend!
